[Originally posted Friday, March 23, 2007]
My friend Jeremy, who goes to Geneva, wrote this fantastic blog on Christian dating. I found it marvelous and exegetically compelling. ;p
If Nazareth Were Like Geneva...
1.)"Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph"... since guys and girls can't just hang out, someone saw mary and joseph having fish and bread together, talking about their days, and knew that they were dating and probably already had a ring picked out
2.) "Joseph... did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her"... this means his relationship status on facebook went from in a relationship to it's complicated to single real quick.. but he never put it on news feed.
3.) Joseph has the dream about the angel. This is Joseph playing the God card. A low blow, yes. but it's really hard to reject that without sounding like a heathen.
4.)Joseph "took mary to be his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth"... and by she gave birth, he means until they got outside of young east after open hours was over... they they "unioned" all over each other's face and let every passer by enjoy the show.
5.) Whenever people started becoming critical of Joseph's and Mary's excessive "unionizing"... they escaped.. but egypt is too far.... eat n park in chippewa is far enough... besides... they're open way past open hours
6.) In some of our Christian brother's christology, they claim that Christ and Mary Magdeline were married. I do not believe this. I sincerely believe that Christ took mary out into the desert to go for a walk and have the infamous (at least on Y2, it's infamous) DTR talk. Define The Relationship.
"Mary... you're a cool girl and all, but i just want to be friends. I mean.. i'm the savior of the world... and well.. let's just say you have a lot of baggage coming into this thing, but i mean, we can still be really good friends, right?"
Let us be glad that Nazareth was much more intolerant of the foolishness that inherently comes with this insane, incoherent debauch we call American Dating.
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