The Voice of the Lord

[Originally posted Sunday, April 01, 2007]

My best friend in the world is Justin. We've been best friends since 7th grade (though he claims I wasn't his best friend until 8th grade...pssh, men). Though we went through five years of high school together, our whole friendship is pretty much based on conversation...or rather, the phone. We hang out in person sometimes, but we pretty much just talk. And we've created the most solid friendship I've ever had based on thousands of hours of conversation.

Well, when we were in 11th grade (my last year of high school), I thought Justin had called me. What I didn't realize at the time, however, was that it was my childhood-friend Micah, from my elementary school days. Up until 5th grade, we had been really good friends, and then he went to another school. We hadn't talked since then. And then he called me all these years later, and I thought it was Justin. For TWENTY MINUTES, I talked to him, perfectly convinced that it was Justin. I had been talking to Justin on the phone for 5 years, and knew his voice better than anyone else's. Yet, in a 20-minute convo, I operated under the assumption that the voice I was hearing was the voice of my best friend, when, in fact, it was the voice of Micah, a guy I hadn't talked to in six years.

Well, after about 20 minutes, I mentioned something like, "Remember in gym today?" and he's like, "No." And after some confusion, I was like, "Isn't this Justin?" And he's like, "No, this is Micah." And holy crap, I was like WHAT??? And all of a sudden, I heard the difference in his voice, tone, and regional inflections. For twenty minutes, I could have sworn it was Justin's voice--no doubt about it. But as soon as I realized it was Micah, I heard Micah's voice, not Justin's. It was like a veil had been lifted. How could I have possibly mistaken Micah's voice for Justin's? I have no clue. But I did. And I felt like an idiot.

I think that sometimes hearing from God can be just like that. Over years and years of loving and enjoying God, and hearing his voice...somehow an imposter gets slipped into the mix, and you're completely convinced that it's God's voice. You have no reason to question it, because it sounds exactly like God's voice. And then, all of a sudden, you realize it wasn't God, and then everything becomes crystal clear. You ask yourself, "How could I have possibly mistaken that for God?" Because you know his voice. You've known it for years. But sometimes your mind plays tricks on you. And tsk tsk, an imposter confuses you. Alas!

And so what do you do? You regroup, re-evaluate, sharpen your discernment, and keep going. And read the Bible.